10 years

(If some longing goes unmet, don't be astonished. We call that Life. Anna Freud)

i have been here

3650 days

87,600 hours

5,256,000 minutes

315,360,000 seconds

five years of very expensive hours,

and my world view still rests

on the foundation

you and i poured together,

your initials next to mine

in the concrete.

ten years of silence,

of phantom echoes,

more felt than heard,

and i'm still talking to you.

a litter of almost loves

playing at playing house,

but never really living

it

and you are still my home.

i have said i havent loved,

havent been loved,

ive lied.

ive said that i am in this house,

the house we built,

alone.

ive lied.

i live with the ghost of a man who loved me.