but he does these things...

i know i have tendency to imagine things that are not real,
and a tendency to exaggerate the meaning of little things that probably have very little real meaning,
and even sometimes i am paranoid,
but sometimes it seems things are too obvious for me to be making it up.

ok maybe obvious isnt the right word, but clear enough to someone who pays attention, as i do.
and maybe its not just me that he does these things for,
maybe he really has a superhero complex and wants to swoop in and save any poor damzel in distress.
thats probably the case, but even that,
the saving of someone,
thats a fairly intimate thing to do isnt it?

he knows somehow in the group conversation when i am faltering,
when ive lost my point,
or meandered too far from the target,
or when i am getting too uncomfortable and the anxitey starts to set in,
and just in those moments, he swoops in.
he looks at me and im not even trying to plead for help,
its too early for even me to know i need to be saved from myself,
and there he is with a knowing glance and a story to distract.
he often tells stories or jokes that are self depricating,
maybe to pull the judgemental glare towards himself, away from me??
ok maybe that is giving him too much.

maybe he is just as anxious over all as i am and when he feels my anxiety rise he has automatic defenses that kick in that just happen to save me as much as they save him.
that sounds more on target.

but i like to believe it is a more conscious action than that,
that he is actually watching me,
feeling me,
and his intention is to save me when i am lost.
that he knows,
and thus cares...
you think?