esperanza (from taos)

i am not well acquainted with love.
i dont know where it comes from,
or where it goes when it leaves.
and once it chooses you,
i dont know how long it intends to stay.
but i have heard its voice
coming
from deep within.
it was a voice that knew of things
my eyes have not seen.
it knows of a path
my feet have not yet walked,
a path still before me.

"i was there because suddenly life had presented me
with Life"

i heard it
whispering softly
behind a held breath
when your hand
held mine
that night.
i heard the words
almost
inaudible
behind two decades
of the Other
two decades of bitterness,

"i could love you"

these are words my insides have said
for no other.
these are words that have been with me,
growing in intensity,
pacing between my collar bones and my pelvis,
like a caged animal,
so that i can not ignore it,
that are with me still,
these hours and days and weeks
later.
"i could love you"

you pushed against me
that night
with your own decades,
but you heard it.
in the hold
your eye had on mine,
you heard my voice,
and i heard yours.
you could love me.


(the above quote cited from
by the river piedra, i sat down and wept
by paulo coelho
i read it last night,
and started it again today.
i love it.)