One Word

put the baggage in storage
for just this moment's sadness
and not a moment's more

i'm left
wondering
if the virgin ran out the front door
instead of up the stairs
would all innocence be saved?
could all innocents be saved?
i told her that was the struggle
with authority
as if i knew

my brother died
so that our innocence
might survive just this one life
and yet i squandered it
on fairytales
i've taken all these days
to disprove all these words
to leave the one
the one word i still believe in
and so i can't say
in fear of its disproving
my silence faithing it
into fairytale innocence
if not reality

i had a new fear today
if we've lost our innocence
and our children inherit
our disproof
and no one can say the only word
they don't want to believe in
then will Jesus change his mind?

i once had a story to tell
but it used words i don't believe in
and told truths that never existed
if you never really have anything
than why is loss
so real?
more real than any of God's promises
i never feared the end of loss
no ramble of words could disprove it
the breath it takes to say the word
is all the loss my lungs
need proof of

if i am made in His image
and i lose hope everyday
than does God lose hope in me
everyday?
if my innocence went with that breath
and the children learn
nothing
of it from me
nothing of life
is there any hope to be had in me?

i have nearly everything i have ever wanted
i never knew that it was the one word
that one word i still believe in
and haven't a breath to say
that was the only word
that would save me.

and all i have tonight
is my syrupy comfort
cold in my hand
and half a breath of hope
that Jesus won't change his mind
about me.