checking my pockets

ive carried it with me
my past
my future
in my present
in my pocket
ive worn it on my sleeve
my girlscout patch of honor
wounded in battle
childhood childless
but somewhere
i took myself captive
a POW
at my own hand
and now ive found myself
MIA
i shackeled myself
to that wound
and ate the key for safe keeping
never thinking
it might be safer outside
that in.

but now its independence day
the start of my 28th year
and im searching
for any tool, a secret weapon
that might set me free.

ive built an arsenal
consciousness
enlightenment
but knowing is only half the battle
and this war
the war i waged on myself
my past pitted against my future
will be won much deeper
in me
in my present
in my back pocket
i will call this day
my independence day
the day i walked away
from a war never to be won
the wounded victor
and the proud defeated
keeping one in each
of my back pockets
not as weapons & not as wounds
but as my inspiration

in my left hip pocket
my past
to always know that i will not be consumed
by this fire
in my right hip pocket
my future
pushing my courage to ensure
that this dream
will not ba made a liar
and in my hand
my present
my truth, my story & my prupose
and a humble hope to inspire.