silent bodies, silent voices

thats what i told the children
when i wanted them to stop
"remember
silent bodies, silent voices"
thats what i told myself
and i stopped
i say its for reflection
but if you reflect long enough
you stop seeing
stop feeling

now i feel
and it hurts
years of silent bodies
and silent voices
and now it hangs in my chest
i cant remember what for now
i dont remember any of it
all i know is
it left...this

it all came the day i decided
to stop stopping
stop reflecting
and now my silent voice
chokes my throat
and my silent body
brings violet violence
purple layers are peeled away
and it sounds like
years
silent years.